Resolving Family Business Conflict.
Gloves, or Flowers?
By
In a previous article in our series of articles on
succession planning, we talked about conflicts that can plague a family
business engaged in a succession planning process. We noted that conflict
usually happens in one of three ways:
1) When the family vision and the business vision are at
odds.
2) When no one in the family has the capability or
capacity to lead the company.
3) When the
present owner decides to preserve focused ownership (as we and other business
management experts generally recommend), rather than dilute ownership among all
inheritors.
These and other less common sources of conflict usually
come down to just one cause: an aggrieved sense of fairness on the part of one
or more family members. No matter who is involved or how much thought goes into
decision-making, chances are someone will feel unfairly treated. A business
owner who has gone to great lengths to be fair may be surprised to find that
fairness is in the eyes of the beholder. The next generation relives old
emotional scars and expresses them in phrases like "Mom always liked you
best!"
What's the answer?
When serious differences exist between the vision of the
family and the vision of the business ¾ as when the younger generation wants no part of
whatever the business is selling or manufacturing, for instance ¾ a process of open communication
usually leads to the company being sold or liquidated. On the other hand, when
all parties agree that the family should retain control but conflicts arise
over who will lead the company, then effective conflict resolution techniques
are vitally important to defuse these emotional issues.
When people are angry, it is important to recognize that
the brain’s logic center is no longer in control. Research has told us that the reptilian brain
center takes control. In that state,
people are in no position to understand reason or logic. They tend to frequently and emotionally
rehearse the problem and subsequent reactions.
It is a normal reaction to take a defensive posture when
confronted with an angry person. Angry
people tend to attack other people's personality and not the problem. It takes a high degree of will power to
overcome your own emotions and do the opposite of what you might feel like
doing. Help is available in the form of
specific techniques designed to deal with overwrought people.
These techniques are collectively known by the acronym of ALVAN (Ask, Listen,
Validate, Ask, Negotiate). People who feel they are being
unfairly treated are likely to be angry. Ignoring them, refusing to listen,
getting angry back, arguing, telling them they're wrong, or even trying to
reason with them will just make them angrier. With the ALVAN techniques,
however, you have a good chance of calming an angry person down and resolving
the conflict.
1)
Ask what's wrong, not in a cynical or dismissive
way, but in a way that triggers the person's request, letting them tell you
what they want and showing that you're really interested.
2)
Listen, using all the standard techniques
of good listening behavior ¾ maintaining eye contact, nodding your head, staying with
the person, feeding responses back, restating what you hear to be sure you
heard correctly.
3)
Validate the person's feelings by showing that you understand
why they've hung out an emotional flag. It's the person's feelings you're
validating, not the facts of their position. When you show that you understand
how they feel, they can start to come out of their primitive brain center,
where reason and logic have no control, and back to reality. Typically at this
point the most reasonable people will start apologizing for their emotional
outbursts and behavior.
4)
Ask what they want. Once the person has calmed down,
they might realize that they haven't really thought about what it would take to
solve the problem. This question may reveal a request that's fairly simple to
fulfill.
5)
Negotiate an end result. When this step is accomplished
and the conflict is resolved to everyone's
satisfaction, the planning process can get back on track. The immediate goal is
to work past the hurt feelings and return to identifying and resolving the
strategic issues. The long-term goal is to develop better communications skills
and understanding among all parties involved, in order to accomplish the
business objectives.
Long-term success is the goal
It's important to remember that within the business
planning process, we're not only defining where the business is going. We're
also defining an organizational structure to determine how it will be owned and
managed.
In planning for family business succession in particular,
the company vision and the family vision may differ in some respects, but when
they both present a picture of continued family involvement in the business,
then two strong planning objectives are established: 1) the business will
continue to grow and prosper, and 2) the family will continue to manage the
business. ALVAN can help resolve any conflicts that may threaten these objectives
on the way to ensuring the company's long-term success.